Many times we are faced with challenges that are hard to explain, or get through. I have gone through a lot of things that are hard to speak about. I have been broken, uplifted, then broken again. Many times I feel like giving up, and this week has been a prime example. Here is what I wrote initially:
So here I am again. Sad. Angry. Fed up. Confused. Unhappy. Just to list a few words.Being in college has been such a crazy time for me, that I don’t even know where to start. I came in Freshman year feeling like things would be running smoothly. But everything seems to be going in the complete opposite direction. I have reached a level of stress that I can’t even deal with. With no one by my side to help me through it all. I am at a stage where I am ready to drop out.
You probably read that and thought OMG DON’T SAY THAT, THINGS WILL GET BETTER!! But you see that’s just the thing. We always believe things will get better, or work out in a different way, but things seem to always go left. It’s been a month and it seems as though I’m realizing, maybe college isn’t for me. It has nothing to do with the academics because, there are amazing professors, and classes at the University at Albany that I love. But it has to deal with issues that I don’t really plan on discussing.
I am trying my hardest to not breakdown and cry for help. Because I am here at 19 years old fighting so many battles by myself. I believe in the saying that “God gives his strongest soldiers, the toughest battles”. But I am not strong. I try to portray that I am sometimes, but its mostly a lie. Many of you reading this might real some of the things I am feeling. While some people might read this and judge me, or say things like “why would someone give up so easily”? But I am tired of trying, and feeling like I have nothing left to say. While this may not have a concrete topic, its just my way to vent.
For anyone who maybe feeling like I am, I want to let you know that you are not alone. There are many places you can go to get help. Places like Middle Earth, or going to see a counselor on campus. Or even your own advisors. For me, talking to God and leaving everything in his hands, is enough for me. This is not a way to push religion on anyone. But that is my coping mechanism. Overall when things look rough, it’s ok to have break downs. But overtime, remember to never give up.
About the Author:
Anastasia W. Class of 2018 Major: English Minor: Psychology Blog Theme: Patience, Love & Acceptance
Please Note: The views of our student bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the UAlbany Advisement Services Center. These are their stories and their voices.
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The Advocacy Center for Sexual Violence provides a safe and welcoming environment for students to receive support and advocacy services in the aftermath of sexual violence including, but not limited to, sexual assault, intimate partner violence and/or stalking.
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Your academic advisor will often be a great person to talk to or to point you in the right direction. Let them know that you are struggling and you need to talk.