Fransexual

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franshelis

My name is Franshelis Calderon. I’m a junior here at UAlbany, and I identify as queer.

From the moment I arrived on the UAlbany campus in August of 2014, I knew I had a lot of self-exploring to do. It was finally my chance find myself independently, without the worry of what anyone else had to say. I had been waiting for this moment for, what felt like, a lifetime. Some of the things I discovered about myself during this time were that I loved to learn languages, Wings over Albany was my favorite place to order from, living with a random roommate was tough, and that I liked girls.

I had a few girl crushes in high school, but I always thought it was a rite of passage, a normal thing to have one or two “gay crushes.” But when they kept coming, I didn’t want to accept it for one reason alone—my parents. I was raised to believe homosexuality was wrong, and was convinced I was a horrible person for feeling the way I felt. I lied to myself, and those around me. As I settled into this university though, I found the courage to say it out loud for the first time.  After that, loving myself became easier with each passing day, because I was surrounded by the support of my peers who didn’t look at me differently because of my sexuality.

loneliness-1879453_960_720.jpgThe process of exploring your sexuality can be one of the most confusing and complicated things that a person can experience. A lot of emotions are running through your mind. Alongside it being my first year of college, it was a lot to handle. It definitely reflected on my grades and personal relationships.  I became lazy and unconcerned with going to class, because of all the stress of not being comfortable with who I was. I also was involved in a very unhealthy relationship, as a result of my low self-esteem, which also affected my academics. I was so focused on trying to please another person that I lost sight of what was truly important.

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Gender and Sexuality Resource Center

Through surrounding myself in positivity, a strong support system and self-discovery, I have been able to embrace my sexuality. Looking back; the amount of growth I did in accepting myself is commendable. I went from hiding who I am to feeling comfortable enough to unapologetically yell it from the rooftops, from settling for whoever expressed the slightest interest in me, to knowing my worth and recognizing a healthy relationship. Even though I still struggle with my sexuality, I am slowly learning that if I accept myself, maybe one day everyone else can too.

With this blog, I will be writing about the experiences I have had at this university as a queer student. I will discuss the struggles I still face with my sexuality in all aspects, and all the ways in which I’ve grown because of these struggles. I want anyone who has ever felt the way I have, to read this blog and embrace themselves, and understand there is nothing wrong in loving who they love.


Please Note: The views of our student bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the UAlbany Advisement Services Center. These are their stories and their voices.
About the Author:
franshelis
Franshelis C.
Class of 2018
Major: Linguistics
Minors: Italian and Criminal Justice
Blog Theme:
Fransexual
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One thought on “Fransexual

  1. You go girl! I’m glad you’re finding yourself and can finally be your true self. I see that you are now more free and unhindered than you were in the past. Continue to explore yourself and have fun. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

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