Unboxed

audre-lorde-quotes-2So far I have written about coming out, dealing with family members who are not supportive of my sexuality, and struggling with self-identity. Writing this blog is actually very therapeutic. It is a way for me to help others, as well as expressing my emotions and thoughts about this topic in a healthy manner.

One thing I really want to emphasize as I reflect on my previous posts is that we are not defined by one aspect of our person. To be in that mindset of being equated to only one part of your personality is a very frustrating thing. I am a person. An afro-Latina, a daughter, a sister, a student, a lover of languages, a feminist, an advocate of human rights. I am more than a queer person. I am more than a girl who likes girls. And I think it’s important for people to remember that. Don’t focus solely on what makes you stand out, whether it is your weight, your mental illness, your disability, your sexuality, your race, or your gender. You are MORE than any these things. They do not define you.

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Another thing I want to speak on is coming out. I want to again take the time to stress that coming out is a personal experience. It is different for everyone. And it is essential that you only do it when you feel ready. Don’t let yourself feel pressured to come out, whether that pressure is internal or coming from another person. A family member of mine who figured out my sexuality recently pressured me into coming out to my family. She said things like, “Is no one in our family ever going to know? Are you just going to live your life hiding it from them?” And while she has some valid points, YOU are the only one who can decide to be ready to let others know. And it’s a hard decision to come to, personally.

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I’ve received a lot of support for this blog and writing about my theme. A lot of my coworkers, friends, even my residents have come up to me and have told me that they enjoy reading my blog. That they think it’s a really positive thing I am doing by sharing my experiences, and that I am helping people. That is honestly why I do it. I have my reservations about sharing my story so publicly, especially because most of my family doesn’t know. Besides that, I have always been hesitant to speak up about being LGBTQ. I’m still going through this process of accepting myself, and even though I’m almost there, there’s some things I’m unsure of and am working through. But I am glad I could put those reservations and doubts aside for the greater good, and share my story, even as it continues to be written.

istock_000023675965mediumDiscovering your sexuality and accepting it can be a very long and difficult process. It definitely can be extra stressful in the college environment, where you already have so many other stressors, like classes, anxiety about the future, etc. This definitely was the case for me. For this and so many other reasons, I am glad my experience can serve as guidance for those who may be in a position I once was. I hope people read this blog and aspire to reach a certain level of self-love, and self-acceptance, even those who are not struggling with necessarily their sexuality.

I am definitely excited to keep updating this blog. I have a lot of fun themes left to explore, like dating, my personal transformation and more in depth on how I’ve changed and grown as a person by accepting my sexuality, intersectionality and my experience as an afro-Latina who identifies as queer, and more! I hope you guys are enjoying the ride.


Please Note: The views of our student bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the UAlbany Advisement Services Center. These are their stories and their voices.
About the Author:
franshelis
Franshelis C.
Class of 2018
Major: Linguistics
Minors: Italian and Criminal Justice
Blog Theme:
Fransexual
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