“Trouble Don’t Last Always”

So here we are about to face finals week then off for Christmas break. I don’t know about you, but I’m sure as hell-happy this semester is over. We have faced a lot of challenges together. Though I may not have known your circumstances, I have felt comfortable enough to share my stories with you all. Just to be able to help someone who might be going through the same thing as me is motivating.  You guys inspired me to open up and be my true self, Without you, I wouldn’t have kept it together this semester. I know there are many of us who have walked past someone, and didn’t know the story behind that persons smile; why there seems to be so much sadness behind their eyes,  even why they seemed so closed off from the world. I am here to tell you not to be afraid to smile. Smile at someone and ask them how their day is going? Share a positive energy even if you’re not feeling so up. That one compliant or cheerful word, could brighten someone’s day.

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No Sugarcoating the Pain of Persistence

Many times we are faced with challenges that are hard to explain, or get through. I have gone through a lot of things that are hard to speak about. I have been broken, uplifted, then broken again. Many times I feel like giving up, and this week has been a prime example. Here is what I wrote initially:

Picking flower Petals: Does he like me? Does he not?

     Okay so there’s this guy who you can say caught my eye. He’s pretty tall, plays ball, nice smile, great style. Kind of cocky, maybe snotty, won’t lie he’s not my ideal type. But for some reason I can’t get him off my mind.

     It’s my sophomore year and trust me there are plenty of guys who are all around this campus. Some I didn’t mind talking to but then, they turned out not to be the guys I thought they were. So I’m probably the only one who is going to talk about her love life, but I’m okay with putting it all out there. 

     There was this guy I met my freshman year, I won’t say any names. He was really goofy and if you couldn’t tell I am the same way. He was really interesting to me because I like guys who are a puzzle. Maybe that’s me just being weird, but hey I don’t mind a challenge.  My friends called him an asshole and I can’t lie he was. He didn’t seem to respect females but I am not one to judge. I don’t know what about him caught my attention because, at the time I was only into his friend. But for some reason he spoke first, and all of a sudden I was into him.

Learning to Let Go

Thursday September 29th is another sad day to add to the list of many. Today I don’t have much to say because, I am at a point where I feel as though I am about to break. I am at a point where I no longer know what to say.  For everyone who has lost a loved one this week, month, year, whenever. Understand that you can’t hold onto that pain all your life. You have to learn to let go.

Today, being September 29th, I am struggling with being able to walk out of my room, with that HAPPY mask I am always wearing. Today being September 29th, I am struggling with speaking to anyone, and letting people know what’s going on with me. Today, on September 29th I am ready to let everything go.

I Am Who I Am

Have you ever felt as though once you reached college, you had to pretend as though you were someone else? You know the person who’s mature, sophisticated, has their life all together, flashy, blah blah blah, all that fun stuff. Well I’ll be honest with you, I’m far from that. I’m a goofball, I laugh at every little thing, I suffer from depression, I fail classes and tests. I do things that bring me pleasure. That’s. just. ME.

Growing up I felt as though I had to pretend and hide who I really was. I mean who becomes friends with someone who literally fights with voices in her head? Who would rather sit alone in a dark room, than be with a group of people? Who feels like utter crap? You wouldn’t right? Let me guess, it’s probably because, I don’t fit your “standards” of the “ideal “person. I mean I don’t have perfect grades, I’m not an extrovert, I don’t see the joy in things like others might see, and say “what’s wrong with you”, don’t you have a heart.?” Welp guess I don’t.

I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS OF ME!! I am who I am. I can’t live for you and forget all about me. Judge me as much as you want, but I’ve come to accept who I am, as an amazing human being.

You have to learn to live for today, and live for you. Yes, you. Don’t let the words of others dictate who you are as a person. Do what will make you happy, do things that make you lay in bed and think, ” I don’t see anything wrong with me”. Learn to accept yourself and don’t invite anyone in your life, that can’t accept you for you.

Shoot –  I’m still learning how to love me wholeheartedly. But guess what? Once you start doing that, it’ll be hard to ever turn back. Remember to live in love, peace, and happiness.  I’ll see you guys next time, being the best you, you can be.

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Anastasia W.
Class of 2018
Major: English
Minor: Psychology
Blog Theme: Patience, Love & Acceptance

Please Note: The views of our student bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the UAlbany Advisement Services Center. These are their stories and their voices.