I am My Own Man

This mantra, used by so many, drains my soul. Staying positive is now my goal.

There are times when one places a lot of thoughts and emotions behind what they think love is. Females tend to build up moments in our head without being the least bit realistic. Not all of us of course, but a lot of us. Personally speaking, I know that I tend to do this a lot, even with topics unrelated to love. For example, I tend to play out how I think a certain event is going to take place and then I’ll go through all possible retorts or responses, so that I can have a comeback. Most of the time I end up overthinking or over-complicating the situation and end up building stress and angst instead of it actually benefiting me. I find that it is easier and more effective approaching things with an open and positive energy rather than preparing for the worst of every outcome. Desired human responses are not guaranteed. You cannot predict the answer or outcome a person will take on. In addition, sometimes, information you did not know about played an important role in how a situation turned out.

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Dealing with Disappointment

It is hard to believe that the things you carefully planned for in life don’t always turn out the way you wanted them too. Sometimes people spend days or weeks preparing for their plans and it does not follow through, as a result people lose hope, get discourage, feel anxious or angry and in drastic cases fall into depression. Sometimes we are so focused on the end goal that we forget to enjoy the journey, or we get too caught up in future plans and feel lost when it doesn’t become reality. These times are inevitable, but there are things that we can do to prevent ourselves from  falling into dark places.

My New Motto

Life in the humanities can be a struggle sometimes. Whether it is your parents who do not support what you are doing, or friends who think you should studying something more “reliable,” majoring in this field brings along headaches. I understand. As a matter of fact, there are several groups of people who understand the self-doubt that starts to build when people, who you thought were your biggest supporters, become your fiercest obstacles. I say this in the most respectful way possible since these people mean so much to me, but in all honesty, no one should stand in the way of you and your happiness or success. I am learning that there are many people who have felt the same way and are now thriving in their respective fields.

Following My Own Advice

 

One aspect of self-love I have spoken about is learning to let others love you. That means understanding that you are worthy enough of receiving love and accepting it. But I am a hypocrite. I didn’t know what letting other love you truly meant until this past Friday. Why? Because I, like many others, have trust issues. Not only do I have trust issues with new people in my life but I have had trust issues with my family. Honestly, I think that trusting others to mean what they say is probably my biggest issue today.

Self-Love is Progress

 

Is self-love selfish?

I don’t think so. Why? We need to love ourselves to survive! Everybody has to love themselves enough to want a successful career, a loving family, a better life, or even just the will to continue living. Without self-love, people fall into depression, suicidal thoughts, physically fall ill, let their bodies decay, and let their ambitions die. To connect the two words selfish and self-love is to not really have an understanding of what it means to be selfish. It is not okay to think of only your well-being while others suffer but if you are completely selfless, people will take advantage of you. Self-love is great to an extent, because everybody knows the cliché ‘too much of anything is bad for you’. If one were to only love themselves to the point where they believe the whole world revolves around them, then that is narcissism. Self-love is the happy medium where one does not cause damage to themselves, their egos, and others around them. Loving yourself is not selfish it is necessary to survive and to learn how to value your time and self.

Into the Unknown

Sitting in my mandatory class meeting for EOP, Maritza Martinez, had said something that resounded in me and my current life issues: “employers want to see that you have taken a risk in you”. She was talking about why we should all be taking an interest in applying for internships and studying abroad, and how taking those actions show personal growth and character. It shows people that you are willing to put yourself in uncomfortable situations and rise above it. It shows that you are willing to take a risk on you, and maybe they should too. I never thought of it that way. I believed that doing the things you really wanted to do took courage because of the obstacles you had to face, I did not once think that doing the things I wanted to do was putting myself in a risky situation.

I am More

Self love hurts.

Sometimes the best decisions we make for ourselves are the hardest ones to pull off. Sometimes we have to make tough decisions in the present to have a brighter, happier future in the long run. Sometimes we think we aren’t capable.

You are capable. You are strong enough. You can do anything you set your mind to.

Some words of encouragement my mother used to say to me was “If they can do it, why can’t you?”. I never had a response to that but in the back of my mind I used to think “because I just can’t”. It took me a long time to realize that I have the power to do anything because I am just as smart, just as strong, and just as amazing as everyone else, better yet, no one could be better at being me than me.

Perseverance

My name is Leobianny Hilario and I am stubborn. Despite what anyone tells me to do, I always do what I think is best. I am a Latina born and raised in Brooklyn, New York so perhaps I just have stubbornness running through my blood. I am a sophomore, here at the University at Albany and am pursing a double major in the field of English and Communications. This semester, I want to focus on perseverance  – on being  stubborn.