Vulnerability

vulnerability

This week I noticed a theme in conversations that surrounded me. The topic of vulnerability came up not only as the subject of a classroom discussion, but also within the confines of a conversation I was having with a friend.  While we both agreed and discussed  how scary it can be to take that chance to open up to someone in that way, I surprised myself by also adding something else:

“I also think, it’s kind of empowering,” I texted hesitatingly, and ironically for the same fear we were just previously discussing.

I wasn’t sure how I would explain myself, and re- recording probably 5 different voice memos (don’t you love modern technology), I finally got something right.  To quote it exactly, this is what I said:

“Being vulnerable is terrifying…but at the same time I feel as if I have surrounded myself with people in college who weren’t as afraid of it as I was.  So being able to be vulnerable with someone now feels more of a testament to myself, than a testament to whether or not I can trust that person…”  Continue reading “Vulnerability”

My Path is Bright

 

path-bannerThis last week I found myself making slow but deliberate steps towards my future, and it feels great to know that I am finally on a path.  In my last post I wrote about the impact of  meeting my favorite poet this week.  He inspired me to dig a little deeper and go for the things I want out of life, even if it is only for just now.  So this past weekend, not only have I have finally started my application to graduate school at the University at Albany, but I have decided what program and field of work I want to get into as well, though it may not be what you think.

Many of you may be thinking, “Oh you definitely applied to continue with your English students”, or “maybe she’ll start working on her MFA since she loves creative writing so much”. But nope, while these were all, definitely, real options that I have mulled over in my mind, I actually decided something completely out of the norm of what I ever thought I would be doing after graduation.  Continue reading “My Path is Bright”

Somewhere Towards the Horizon

I hope I haven’t already
driven past my greatest moments.

I hope there is something beautiful in the horizon
That’s just as impatient as I am.
Something so eager,
It wants to meet halfway.
A moment that is diligently staring at its watch, frustrated,
Butting at the seams
And wondering at the seams
And wondering what’s taking me so long to arrive.

Horizon – Rudy Francisco

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One of the biggest things influencing me this semester, is the question, “What will I do once the semester ends?”

Truthfully, I have never known what I would like to do after college.  All I knew was that I have always had a love for words.  I have always had a love for books, but poetry, as I have been expressing lately,  is something I really  just grew into.  When I was younger I didn’t much attention to it.  It was stories that that I liked.  Nonetheless, poetry has become a rock. Continue reading “Somewhere Towards the Horizon”

I am My Own Man

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This mantra, used by so many, drains my soul. Staying positive is now my goal.

There are times when one places a lot of thoughts and emotions behind what they think love is. Females tend to build up moments in our head without being the least bit realistic. Not all of us of course, but a lot of us. Personally speaking, I know that I tend to do this a lot, even with topics unrelated to love. For example, I tend to play out how I think a certain event is going to take place and then I’ll go through all possible retorts or responses, so that I can have a comeback. Most of the time I end up overthinking or over-complicating the situation and end up building stress and angst instead of it actually benefiting me. I find that it is easier and more effective approaching things with an open and positive energy rather than preparing for the worst of every outcome. Desired human responses are not guaranteed. You cannot predict the answer or outcome a person will take on. In addition, sometimes, information you did not know about played an important role in how a situation turned out. Continue reading “I am My Own Man”

Motivation Plus Compassion – Advising Plus

17201377_1306486016107772_4566494713974496269_nI didn’t know what I wanted to do after high school. The one thing I really felt passionate about was fitness. I used to be overweight, and I looked for schools to help me with that. I found the World of Fitness Living-Learning Community, and it ended up changing my life. Not only have I grown as a leader, but I’ve also learned that I really do love helping people. Right now I’m working for University at Albany Campus Recreation at the SEFCU and Indian Quad gyms teaching Insanity on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. After I started Insanity, I realized that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Being in college and teaching and instructing all these different kinds of people, with different backgrounds, and different personalities, has enabled me to integrate them into my own being and knowledge. I’m able to talk to and relate to so many different people.

Fitness shouldn’t be about the aesthetic display of your physique, it should be a reflection of who you are. Take advantage of all the wellness centers that we have here, and all the free group instruction classes. It all comes down to intrinsic motivation. You should be able to wake up in the morning and say, “today is the day that I’m going to take charge of my health, take charge of my life, and take charge of me.”

Sophomore year, before I started Insanity, I was depressed, for a while. There’s a mentor I had, an advisor. Her name is Barbara Brown from Advising Plus. She is literally my second mom. She helped me realize that I wasn’t alone. She helped me stay on track. You cannot allow yourself to plunge deeper into that nasty abyss. Because once you get used to that feeling, it becomes second nature. I felt like I was weak to ask for help. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting help. If I didn’t get help, I would probably still be where I was or even worse. That’s the scariest thing. It’s not about you. You always have at least one person who cares about you. You never want that person to see something bad happen to you. You don’t want that to be the very last memory that you leave here. You will never know your full potential unless you wake up and get started on something. Even if it’s just one goal a day, get started on it. Don’t leave things to chance. Because then you’ll never get anything done.

College is a time for discovering yourself and what gives you goosebumps, your passion. Learn to see things and live for the present, and learn to love yourself. Nowadays we’re not taught how to love ourselves. Where ever you are, whatever sort of state of mind that you’re at, it’s all temporary. Make sure that you leave your mark on earth. We live very short life spans. You want to be able to say “I actually made a difference.” That’s my goal. That’s really what I want everybody to aspire to.”

-Jayvon Evans
Hometown: Brooklyn, NY
Major: Communications
Minor: Business
Year: Senior

Photo by Naomi McPeters

— at University at Albany, SUNY.

Dealing with Disappointment

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It is hard to believe that the things you carefully planned for in life don’t always turn out the way you wanted them too. Sometimes people spend days or weeks preparing for their plans and it does not follow through, as a result people lose hope, get discourage, feel anxious or angry and in drastic cases fall into depression. Sometimes we are so focused on the end goal that we forget to enjoy the journey, or we get too caught up in future plans and feel lost when it doesn’t become reality. These times are inevitable, but there are things that we can do to prevent ourselves from  falling into dark places. Continue reading “Dealing with Disappointment”

Journeying into Brave

 

claim it.  all of it.  release what no longer serves you.  journey forward.  be unashamed.  be unapologetic. love yourself anyway.  – Alex Elle

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The English major in me, has been obsessed with reading ever since I can remember.  When I was younger, it was graphic novels, mysteries, and silly paranormal romances. Now that I am older it is a plethora of different fictions, memoirs, and poetry.  This is why I have ended and, now, started my last couple of blog entries with quotes, especially those from Alex Elle.

She is someone whose work has captured me in a way that has reminded me of my own personal journey through college and life.  From what I have read, a lot of her work is influenced by the importance and the foundation of self-discovery, self trust, and self love.  And while I know I touched upon that topic a little bit in my last blog post about my love for Valentines Day, as I have been reflecting over the theme of my blog this past week,  “Be Bold.  Be Brave.  Be You;”  I realized that a lot of my theme is rooted in this idea, this mentality of self worth and self love. Continue reading “Journeying into Brave”

My New Motto

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Life in the humanities can be a struggle sometimes. Whether it is your parents who do not support what you are doing, or friends who think you should studying something more “reliable,” majoring in this field brings along headaches. I understand. As a matter of fact, there are several groups of people who understand the self-doubt that starts to build when people, who you thought were your biggest supporters, become your fiercest obstacles. I say this in the most respectful way possible since these people mean so much to me, but in all honesty, no one should stand in the way of you and your happiness or success. I am learning that there are many people who have felt the same way and are now thriving in their respective fields. Continue reading “My New Motto”

What can you do with a History Education?

antique-1751481_960_720A roundtable and discussion
with alumni, faculty, and students

Sponsored by the Chi Delta chapter of Phi Alpha Theta
University at Albany, SUNY

Tuesday March 7th , 6:30 to 8:00
Social Science 145
Light refreshments served
Undergraduate Majors and Graduates students welcome Continue reading “What can you do with a History Education?”

Following My Own Advice

 

trust_fallOne aspect of self-love I have spoken about is learning to let others love you. That means understanding that you are worthy enough of receiving love and accepting it. But I am a hypocrite. I didn’t know what letting other love you truly meant until this past Friday. Why? Because I, like many others, have trust issues. Not only do I have trust issues with new people in my life but I have had trust issues with my family. Honestly, I think that trusting others to mean what they say is probably my biggest issue today. Continue reading “Following My Own Advice”