Some times there’s a breakdown before there’s a break through. For me it seems as though this is always the case. As I write this blog from my bedroom, back home, my mind is consumed with a million and one different thoughts I’d like to share, and I’m puzzled by the best way to start. I guess I can begin by trying to make you understand… Continue reading “Don’t Panic”→
I’ve always known the power that words hold. I discovered this when I wrote my first poem at 11 years old. For me, poetry is my usual go-to when I want to express myself. It’s difficult to tell people how you feel sometimes, yet easier to just write it down. But even then, sometimes just writing how you feel gets difficult, or even daunting because writing down how you feel makes it even more real. Continue reading “Healing Through Poetry and Music”→
This is not an easy subject to talk about, but it is a subject that I think people just need to hear about sometimes to know that they are not alone. I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer’s just this past summer and, believe me, it is still a day to day struggle. I have been experiencing the holidays without her and it still bothers me that she will never see me graduate. I went through a lot to maintain my grades and keep up a steady performance but I did it, and I am glad I did. Continue reading “Grieving While Pursuing Your Dreams”→
Some people like seeing things that remind them of a loved one they lost. But if you’re anything like me, you don’t necessarily like it—not because you don’t miss that person, but because you don’t like having to acknowledge the feelings associated with that loss. It is especially hard when those feelings catch you off guard, and if you don’t have a safe space to acknowledge the impact of those feelings .
That happened to me two weeks ago. I was already in a rush because I was late for work one morning and I was at a location that reminded me of a friend who passed away last year. It triggered many emotions that I have not felt in many months. In that moment, I felt my heart break all over again and the worst part was that I couldn’t find time to express how I was feeling since I was already in a rush. Continue reading “Unexpected Grief”→
When I first started this blog, I didn’t know how much of an impact it would have on people. As much as I had hoped for at least one person to be able to relate to my experiences and feel some comfort, I did not actually think I would get the feedback I have received.
The past few weeks have shown me that I am supported by so many people, such as co-workers, my current Res Life supervisor, other Pro-Staff members, one of my professors, my counselor at CAPS, family and friends.
My post from last week was actually inspired by a conversation my friend Felix and I had back in August. We both experienced grief the previous semester, and did not reach out to anyone, nor each other, and we had similar reasons why we didn’t. He shared my post from last week on Facebook, remembering our conversation on that topic and reminded me, “Just know you’re not alone.” Continue reading “Words of Encouragement”→
That’s what I tell myself every time I even consider venting to a friend, family member, or even, my boyfriend. Everyone always tells me, “I’m here for you”, “Call me if you need me”, and “You can always open up to me”. But when an opportunity to vent presents itself, I have a hard doing actually doing so. It’s not that I don’t believe people when they tell me those things, it’s that when things are going great for my loved ones, I don’t want to be a buzzkill and start talking about how sad I am that my father and two friends died within two years. I don’t want to tell them how stressed I am because I have not solidified my post-graduation plans yet. I guess the psychology major in me is worried about transferring emotions onto others. That’s probably the number one reason why I hesitate with venting to friends and family. I can’t help but feel like I would be overwhelming them with my problems. Continue reading “You’re Not a Burden”→
Throughout the first two posts of this series, I shared some of my past hindrances, as well as my present successes. Now that we are a little more acquainted, I think it is time to get into something deeper. I was saving this post for a rainy day, if ever I was to write it. Plot twist: It may, very well, be the sunniest day yet, here in Florence. On top of that, my trip to explore and skydive over the Swiss Alps, specifically, Interlaken, the extreme sports capital of the entire continent,departs in a few hours. So yeah, maybe I am just feeling a little extra ballsy today by writing this post now. One of the reasons I decided to write for
Project MyStory, in the first place, was to force myself out of my comfort zone. Now, I am writing about the worst day of my life, while I am getting ready to fling my body out of an aircraft from 14,000+ feet. I am doing this for a blog that is (haha – nervous laugh), showcased on the front page of UAlbany’s website. In the endeavor to self-progress, “backing out” is no longer an option. Accountability is everything. Believe me, you, sweet reader, are helping me as much as I hope I am helping you, whoever you are. So screw it, open book, people! Continue reading “Tragedy & the Transformative Power of Travel”→
I knew my heart would feel heavier than usual. Today, February 7th, makes a year since my father passed away. So much time has passed, but the pain still lingers.
Someone reading this might have lost a parent and can relate to the feelings associated with that. But then there were other feelings I didn’t know how to explain, considering the fact I was mourning someone I’ve never met. I have never met my father in person, at least not as an adult. In fact, I didn’t know anything about him except his name for 18 years of my life. How I got in touch with him is a very long story, but let’s just say that the summer before I started my freshmen year, here at UAlbany, was very life-changing. Right before I left to go away to school for the first time, I finally found the other half of my family and the timing was too perfect. Moments like that always led me to believe that everything happens for a reason. Continue reading “The Year of Grief”→
Today marks the first day I’ve been to campus since school began last Monday. I know that seems like a pretty bad way to start off the brand new semester, but I have found it incredibly difficult to return to the life routine I had just a month and a half ago. You see my life changed completely in those few short weeks and while everyone is just going through their days like they usually do, I am struggling with continuing life the same way as before. Continue reading “The Life Lesson I Learned from Death”→
As the first week back at school came to an end, many students across the UAlbany campus were finally settling back into their familiar routines. Unfortunately, I was not not one of those students. Last semester I spent a majority of my blogs giving advice and sharing stories of my experiences at college, but I want to go in a little bit of a different direction this semester. I am not exactly sure what direction to go in yet but what I am hoping for is to make this blog as personal as possible. A front row view of the inner mind of a stressed out, overworked, college student.
I recently went through one of the hardest, most tragic, and most heartbreaking period of time in my life so far, and it has changed my outlook on so many aspects of life. Losing one of my best friends suddenly over winter break and the realization that nothing in life is certain, has finally shattered any of the remaining innocence left in me. “Bad things happen to good people” is now more than just a saying to me. You hear stories of terrible tragedies and your heart goes out to the people experiencing the heart break but you don’t fully understand that it can happen to you, that you could be the one asking why something so terrible has to happen, until it happens to you. Life is an oxymoron, both cruel and beautiful in many ways. And so at a period of time where I am so angry and so sad, I try my hardest for find the good in these series of event in my life. And so I will leave you with a quote that has helped me see the world as it really is:
Happiness is a journey, not a destination. for a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. at last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. this perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. happiness is the way. so treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.” -Alfred D. Souza
Please Note: The views of our student bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the UAlbany Advisement Services Center. These are their stories and their voices.